I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize