Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
