we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
