In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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