Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
