it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
