note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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