She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
