I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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