Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize