I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
