respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
