so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
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