i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
