I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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