Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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