i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
pop tarts are not kleenex
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
