Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
