he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it glows. i had to have it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
