just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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