so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I wish there were birth control emojis
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
