As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My liver just broke up with me...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
