He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
