So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
