and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
