I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
