Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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