There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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