Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
