Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
