I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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