The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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