Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
