Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
