don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
