Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
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Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
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You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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