It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
