I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
