The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize