my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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