there was a trapeze. enough said
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
