you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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