I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Soap is not a condiment
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize