I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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