i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
