you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
sex in a hospital.. check
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize