bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
