Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
