Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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