Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
