sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
