Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
