found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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