note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
