My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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