I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
