She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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