we're blogging at a bar
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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