Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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