I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Randomize