Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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